29 September 2014
Dear Sister Harmon,
For the past eighteen months, your daughter, Sister Zoe Jade Carlock, has been faithfully serving in the Italy Milan Mission, teaching the gospel to the Italian people. The time is approaching for her to return home and begin a new phase of her life.
Sister Carlock entered Italy on 12 Jun 2013, and served in the cities Milano Cimiano, Genova, Vicenza and Bologna.
Sister Carlock has represented the Church and the Lord well. I understand the importance of her personal progress and pray for her success as she returns home. Please help her to keep the wonderful patterns that she has developed as a missionary, so that they may become habits for her life.
We express our deepest gratitude for the missionary labors of Sister Carlock here in Italy. We would like to thank you for your great contribution in rearing and training your to serve the Lord, and for your sacrifice, love and support to her during her mission.
Sincerely,
Presidente Bruce L. Dibb
Presidente di Missione
Missione Italiana di Milano
+39 02 5760 0860
Via A. Gramsci 13
20090 Opera (MI)
Italia
brudi@ldschurch.org
Registrati su: mormon.org/ita/me/B4ZW/BruceDibb
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Seventy-three: September 24, 2014 Bologna
I read all of your emails and just sit here and cry and cry...ha ha, its kind of ridiculous really.
Today, its really hit me. I'm really really tired. I can barely walk. I'm exercising, I'm trying to eat more healthful foods. (Just now that when I get home, I'm going to be kind of a health-nut, so watch out)
I just don't know what else I can give.
Eva will like this comparison I'm about to make....
In the first book of the Hunger Games, Katniss is in the Games and she's just been burned by that fireball thing. She's really thirsty and she is about to give up and die....That's how I feel. Like I can't find the strength that I'm looking for and that I've been doing this for so long that its almost easier to just let go.
Katniss thinks that Haymitch should've sent water...why isn't he sending water or something to help? She feels like he's given up on her and then she realizes...He isn't sending her water as a sign- she's so close...she just needs to keep going.
I want to make every day count. I don't know how to feel satisfied with what I've done, because I feel like that will make me complacent. I cannot NOT finish strong. It would crush me. I'm trying my best though. I'm trying to measure my limits by asking, ''could I do more right now?'' or ''do I need to sit and take a rest or could I keep going?'' ...something like that.
I wanted to say though- it is so great to see that Heavenly Father is blessing you all in various ways. He IS mindful of us and what we need and is always willing and ready to help us...especially when we ask and thank Him for the help previously received. I am half amazed, half un-amazed, because I know that its true- but each time it seems to be a more specific and 'intimate' answer. A personal and deep yearning for help. He's answered every prayer. Everything. There is no way He doesn't exist or love us. things don't just happen like this. This is a greater testimony that He is (Dio c'è!!!)
I am so grateful for prayers and for the scriptures. Each time I read the scriptures, I learn something new. BTW!!! I have finished the Book of Mormon twice now in Italian and I am about 250 pages into my third go-around....SO I'm going to read it 3 times! I'm going to be fluent. Every time I open the Book of Mormon, I feel the Spirit telling me that it is true and I feel that it completes the Bible because I read the Bible and they share the same gift of love....I don't know how to explain it in English.
BTW again....Eva I hope you're ready to speak Italian with me for the rest of your life. I bet youìre so good already and I can help you with your accent. Mom says you're already great though and I believe her.--- I'll be your Italian cousin.. My name will be Valentina...or I don't know, you can choose. :)
It's funny because sometimes I yell in Italian...I'm not angry really, but something will fall...or a guy will cough on me...or ill get my foot stuck in the bus door and (most times just in my head) Ill yell something in Italian- I talk to myself mostly in Italian...like when I'm tired I'm like...ok vai. alzati, andiamo. its fun. It helps me remember and its good practice.
I'm sorry I don't have much to talk about this week. We're trying to have a really good week where we push ourselves...I don't know how much I have left to push, but please pray that Heavenly Father will make up the difference.
---
I cannot wait to hug you and kiss you and tell you in person that I love you. That thought motivates me to keep going. It is like you said Mom, I dont know how to stop, but I dont know how to keep going either. I'll get there. I'm on my way. Its all more beautiful from the top.
I love you all with my whole soul. You are a source of great strength and love.
I can't wait to be able to text you silly things and cook Italian food for all of you. I can't wait to tell you all of the stories and to read from the scriptures and pray with you. I love you all, Mommy, Tanney, Evie. I love you!
FEEL MY LOOOOOVE :) I am here but know that I am sending my love your way.
This is my last transfer. 5 and a half weeks. I can do this. I'm going to do this. I'm doing it already!
I love you
I love you
I love you
Sorella Carlock
Today, its really hit me. I'm really really tired. I can barely walk. I'm exercising, I'm trying to eat more healthful foods. (Just now that when I get home, I'm going to be kind of a health-nut, so watch out)
I just don't know what else I can give.
Eva will like this comparison I'm about to make....
In the first book of the Hunger Games, Katniss is in the Games and she's just been burned by that fireball thing. She's really thirsty and she is about to give up and die....That's how I feel. Like I can't find the strength that I'm looking for and that I've been doing this for so long that its almost easier to just let go.
Katniss thinks that Haymitch should've sent water...why isn't he sending water or something to help? She feels like he's given up on her and then she realizes...He isn't sending her water as a sign- she's so close...she just needs to keep going.
I want to make every day count. I don't know how to feel satisfied with what I've done, because I feel like that will make me complacent. I cannot NOT finish strong. It would crush me. I'm trying my best though. I'm trying to measure my limits by asking, ''could I do more right now?'' or ''do I need to sit and take a rest or could I keep going?'' ...something like that.
I wanted to say though- it is so great to see that Heavenly Father is blessing you all in various ways. He IS mindful of us and what we need and is always willing and ready to help us...especially when we ask and thank Him for the help previously received. I am half amazed, half un-amazed, because I know that its true- but each time it seems to be a more specific and 'intimate' answer. A personal and deep yearning for help. He's answered every prayer. Everything. There is no way He doesn't exist or love us. things don't just happen like this. This is a greater testimony that He is (Dio c'è!!!)
I am so grateful for prayers and for the scriptures. Each time I read the scriptures, I learn something new. BTW!!! I have finished the Book of Mormon twice now in Italian and I am about 250 pages into my third go-around....SO I'm going to read it 3 times! I'm going to be fluent. Every time I open the Book of Mormon, I feel the Spirit telling me that it is true and I feel that it completes the Bible because I read the Bible and they share the same gift of love....I don't know how to explain it in English.
BTW again....Eva I hope you're ready to speak Italian with me for the rest of your life. I bet youìre so good already and I can help you with your accent. Mom says you're already great though and I believe her.--- I'll be your Italian cousin.. My name will be Valentina...or I don't know, you can choose. :)
It's funny because sometimes I yell in Italian...I'm not angry really, but something will fall...or a guy will cough on me...or ill get my foot stuck in the bus door and (most times just in my head) Ill yell something in Italian- I talk to myself mostly in Italian...like when I'm tired I'm like...ok vai. alzati, andiamo. its fun. It helps me remember and its good practice.
I'm sorry I don't have much to talk about this week. We're trying to have a really good week where we push ourselves...I don't know how much I have left to push, but please pray that Heavenly Father will make up the difference.
---
I cannot wait to hug you and kiss you and tell you in person that I love you. That thought motivates me to keep going. It is like you said Mom, I dont know how to stop, but I dont know how to keep going either. I'll get there. I'm on my way. Its all more beautiful from the top.
I love you all with my whole soul. You are a source of great strength and love.
I can't wait to be able to text you silly things and cook Italian food for all of you. I can't wait to tell you all of the stories and to read from the scriptures and pray with you. I love you all, Mommy, Tanney, Evie. I love you!
FEEL MY LOOOOOVE :) I am here but know that I am sending my love your way.
This is my last transfer. 5 and a half weeks. I can do this. I'm going to do this. I'm doing it already!
I love you
I love you
I love you
Sorella Carlock
Seventy-two: September 17, 2014 Bologna
Hello dear family!
How are you?
Eva, I will work on that ''how to'' when I get home! Ha ha- good luck in the game. You'll do great!
Mommy, good luck on the test too! I'm praying for you!
Tanney, good luck on today! Whatever it is for you...good luck!!
---
All of the emails I got today were perfect. Thank you so much. I was feeling really down on myself and I felt like such a schmuck, for lack of a better word, and the emails I got today really helped me feel better.
Well...to update you on the work. We have 1 investigator...with a baptismal date! YAY! She's lived such a crazy life and I don't even know how she's still going...but it solidifies my tesitmony of the Atonement...anyone can change. Anyone can become new. We're trying to meet with the members work to get referrals and just to get to know them. We don't have much to do, and the best way to do missionary work is through the members so we are going to start there.
Its been an interesting week. Sorella Stott and I have been sick for the past 2 weeks, so its been hard. Im so ready to just feel well and get going. I wrote in my journal last night about how I was a little frustrated about being sick, especially this close to ...you know...and how I wanted to give everything without holding back.
I was writing, '' as soon as we feel better, we're going to be working so hard we wish we were sick so that we could slow down for a minute'' I plan on finshing strong and going home near dead. I want to give my all and I want to do my best.
Ive been having a lot of dreams about coming home and feeling unsatisfied with my work...kind of sucks, but that's not going to be me. I can do this...because Im not doing it alone. I have my companion, my support from you all, and I have Heavenly Father. This is His work. ''Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies'', He is and has always has been helping me. Im pretty sure, Id be dead by now if He hadn't-
I got an email from Sorella Harward. When we were companions, we talked about a marathon runner. She said ''don't you think he got tired too at the end of the race? its because he was running this whole time. you're tired because you're doing your job''. She wrote that to me today and it reminded me that ''hey. yeah its ok that I'm tired and I want to sit down, or maybe even give up sometimes. at least it shows ive been running. at least I've been running''
This brings me back to something I wrote last week, I think..at least Im still walking. I'm still here, I'm still trying, and while the Master says there is still time I need to keep going.
I feel like a bomb about to explode...things always get hard right before a big miracle comes and its coming soon. I feel it. The Lord is preparing something for us and I have faith in His power. He has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of those around me.
I love the Lord. I love Him. He is so merciful and so present in my life. I am not alone. We are never alone.
This was a good email session. Thanks for all of your help. I feel better now.
I hope that by talking to me through email, I might offer something to you as well.
I know that God lives and love us. He is such an active Parent and wants us to let Him in so we can feel of His love. I feel His love everyday and I long to feel it more.
Mommy, I really hope you do well on your test. I know that you can do it. You're my mommy! You can do anything! I am praying for you. Go get 'em!
Evie, I know you're going to rock it. Just remember what your arm-wrap says. YOU WILL! Teamwork is key. Be a team player.
Tanney, I hope you do well in school today and learn a lot. You are such a strength. You is kind, you in smart, you is important. Remember how special you are. YA THA BEST!
I don't have much to write this week either. There is much to say, other than I love you. I'm committed, I'm still going. I can't wait to see you and hug you and kiss you again! Its going to be a really sacred experience and I can't wait. You are my strength and my joy. Be good. Be happy. Be strong,
Never give up ;)
Sorella Carlock
How are you?
Eva, I will work on that ''how to'' when I get home! Ha ha- good luck in the game. You'll do great!
Mommy, good luck on the test too! I'm praying for you!
Tanney, good luck on today! Whatever it is for you...good luck!!
---
All of the emails I got today were perfect. Thank you so much. I was feeling really down on myself and I felt like such a schmuck, for lack of a better word, and the emails I got today really helped me feel better.
Well...to update you on the work. We have 1 investigator...with a baptismal date! YAY! She's lived such a crazy life and I don't even know how she's still going...but it solidifies my tesitmony of the Atonement...anyone can change. Anyone can become new. We're trying to meet with the members work to get referrals and just to get to know them. We don't have much to do, and the best way to do missionary work is through the members so we are going to start there.
Its been an interesting week. Sorella Stott and I have been sick for the past 2 weeks, so its been hard. Im so ready to just feel well and get going. I wrote in my journal last night about how I was a little frustrated about being sick, especially this close to ...you know...and how I wanted to give everything without holding back.
I was writing, '' as soon as we feel better, we're going to be working so hard we wish we were sick so that we could slow down for a minute'' I plan on finshing strong and going home near dead. I want to give my all and I want to do my best.
Ive been having a lot of dreams about coming home and feeling unsatisfied with my work...kind of sucks, but that's not going to be me. I can do this...because Im not doing it alone. I have my companion, my support from you all, and I have Heavenly Father. This is His work. ''Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies'', He is and has always has been helping me. Im pretty sure, Id be dead by now if He hadn't-
I got an email from Sorella Harward. When we were companions, we talked about a marathon runner. She said ''don't you think he got tired too at the end of the race? its because he was running this whole time. you're tired because you're doing your job''. She wrote that to me today and it reminded me that ''hey. yeah its ok that I'm tired and I want to sit down, or maybe even give up sometimes. at least it shows ive been running. at least I've been running''
This brings me back to something I wrote last week, I think..at least Im still walking. I'm still here, I'm still trying, and while the Master says there is still time I need to keep going.
I feel like a bomb about to explode...things always get hard right before a big miracle comes and its coming soon. I feel it. The Lord is preparing something for us and I have faith in His power. He has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of those around me.
I love the Lord. I love Him. He is so merciful and so present in my life. I am not alone. We are never alone.
This was a good email session. Thanks for all of your help. I feel better now.
I hope that by talking to me through email, I might offer something to you as well.
I know that God lives and love us. He is such an active Parent and wants us to let Him in so we can feel of His love. I feel His love everyday and I long to feel it more.
Mommy, I really hope you do well on your test. I know that you can do it. You're my mommy! You can do anything! I am praying for you. Go get 'em!
Evie, I know you're going to rock it. Just remember what your arm-wrap says. YOU WILL! Teamwork is key. Be a team player.
Tanney, I hope you do well in school today and learn a lot. You are such a strength. You is kind, you in smart, you is important. Remember how special you are. YA THA BEST!
I don't have much to write this week either. There is much to say, other than I love you. I'm committed, I'm still going. I can't wait to see you and hug you and kiss you again! Its going to be a really sacred experience and I can't wait. You are my strength and my joy. Be good. Be happy. Be strong,
Never give up ;)
Sorella Carlock
Seventy-one: September 10, 2014 Bologna
HEEELLLLLOOO!
So whats up? How has this week been? How is school and work?
Eva I love the shirt hair combo. Very cool.
Thanks for updating me on everything. It really helps me to know whats going on. That way I dont feel so isolated here.
I found out at a member's house about the Russia /Ukraine war...I had absolutely no idea. Not even an inkling. How are all of these things happening? And how is is that we don't know? Its amazing...the Lord protects us with all of these rules. Its so sad...when I heard all of the things this member was saying I wanted to cry. How many people have been put in danger? Its just sad. THAT KIND OF STUFF, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW...Id prefer really if it never happened. But anyway, I enjoy hearing about YOUR lives and what you are doing...pictures are even better... ;)
Its amazing really. I pray every morning for energy and strength and health, and I make it through each day. I get to the end. I know that that is made possible through Heavenly Father's power and through my faith in that power. I see miracles every day. The fact that I am still here and still going is a miracle. I'm going to need a lot of help when I go home...but I'm going to make it there, and its going to feel awesome. As Sorella Harward once said (something of the sort), ''even if I have to crawl into Heaven on my hands and knees, even if I'm the last one there...Ill get there'' I feel the same way. I'll get there.
I had an epiphany actually. I called the anziani for another blessing so that I could have some more strength...The anziano that answered said, well how are you?, and I said I'm still walking Anziano, I'm ok as long as I'm still walking. It's true. Even in merit to the Gospel...as long as you're still on the path, bloody and bruised...maybe missing a leg or all of your teeth from smacking your head against the same wall over and over and over again, at least you're still walking on that path. There is always room to improve, but you cant improve if you arent on the path...going in the right direction of course.
Well...I have to say, I love my companion...I realized the other day...I think she kinda likes me too...I wasn't sure what she was thinking before, but at least I know she doesn't want to kill me...I hope ha ha. She is just so sweet and humble and I really like her. She's so patient with me, especially now when I'm having such a hard time. I want to be better for her, to help her make the best of this time. She's a really powerful missionary, its amazing.
I don't really have much to talk about. We don't have hardly any work right now. When we came in, it was pretty empty and now everyone that we found is kind of disappearing...SO back to square 1! We can handle it. Ive done this before! Talk about the mission preparing you for life...I feel like I have the same experiences over again here...its like I need to use them again or something. :)
Well...I'm going to talk about how long I have left for just a minute...then, I want us all to not talk about it anymore...at least as much as possible.
I counted the other day...I have 51 days left in the mission. 51. On Monday night, I realized that 1 month and 1/2 is fairly short and I just started crying and crying and praying to be able to make the most of it. It really hit me. I just filled with such a heart wrenching pain...it hurt! I never want to feel that again..but unfortunately, I will have to. I want to make the most of this short short time. I want to give my all. I am going to need you to not talk about me going home. Ill try my best too. Obviously, we can say 'cant wait to see you'' or we can talk about necessary plans...but I really don't want to think about it. If I can forget myself and forget my health and this reality and give it all...coming home will be sweet. Please support me in this. PLEASE, tell me everything... talk about your lives and missionary work and I will talk about mine. I have felt the missionary spirit and I need it to keep going while I am a full-time missionary. I know we're all excited, heck Im so excited to hug you all...but I just ask that we talk about it when I'm home.
I love you all and I know you understand this. I miss you more than ever right now. I could really use a solid hug and an oatmeal cookie with a side of WAFFLE CRISP!!! WHAT WHAT! But I can wait, we can wait. Then when we get together again and we say ''we did it!'' we can also say ''we left everything behind, wasn't that worth it''
ok, moment over :) I love the mission. I love how hard it is and how much I have to push myself. I love every single moment and every single heartache. I love those mistakes I made because I learned from them, and I became something better. I love my Saviour. Luckily, He loves me too! There is nothing more fulfilling than missionary work. We're teaching a lesson today about missionary work using Alma 29: 9... ''that might be an instrument in bringing [someone unto the Lord] and this is my joy''. THIS IS MY JOY!!! THis is who I am...I have found who I am here and I have found the path to who I can become.
I cant wait to see you all again...well I can...but there isnt a better way to say it...Im REEEEAAALLY looking forward to seeing you and hugging you :)
I love you all with my whole soul, with everything that I am. I pray for you and live for you each day. I know that you will be blessed through my service. That is my great hope! I love you. I love you. I love you :)
Sorella Carlock
So whats up? How has this week been? How is school and work?
Eva I love the shirt hair combo. Very cool.
Thanks for updating me on everything. It really helps me to know whats going on. That way I dont feel so isolated here.
I found out at a member's house about the Russia /Ukraine war...I had absolutely no idea. Not even an inkling. How are all of these things happening? And how is is that we don't know? Its amazing...the Lord protects us with all of these rules. Its so sad...when I heard all of the things this member was saying I wanted to cry. How many people have been put in danger? Its just sad. THAT KIND OF STUFF, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW...Id prefer really if it never happened. But anyway, I enjoy hearing about YOUR lives and what you are doing...pictures are even better... ;)
Its amazing really. I pray every morning for energy and strength and health, and I make it through each day. I get to the end. I know that that is made possible through Heavenly Father's power and through my faith in that power. I see miracles every day. The fact that I am still here and still going is a miracle. I'm going to need a lot of help when I go home...but I'm going to make it there, and its going to feel awesome. As Sorella Harward once said (something of the sort), ''even if I have to crawl into Heaven on my hands and knees, even if I'm the last one there...Ill get there'' I feel the same way. I'll get there.
I had an epiphany actually. I called the anziani for another blessing so that I could have some more strength...The anziano that answered said, well how are you?, and I said I'm still walking Anziano, I'm ok as long as I'm still walking. It's true. Even in merit to the Gospel...as long as you're still on the path, bloody and bruised...maybe missing a leg or all of your teeth from smacking your head against the same wall over and over and over again, at least you're still walking on that path. There is always room to improve, but you cant improve if you arent on the path...going in the right direction of course.
Well...I have to say, I love my companion...I realized the other day...I think she kinda likes me too...I wasn't sure what she was thinking before, but at least I know she doesn't want to kill me...I hope ha ha. She is just so sweet and humble and I really like her. She's so patient with me, especially now when I'm having such a hard time. I want to be better for her, to help her make the best of this time. She's a really powerful missionary, its amazing.
I don't really have much to talk about. We don't have hardly any work right now. When we came in, it was pretty empty and now everyone that we found is kind of disappearing...SO back to square 1! We can handle it. Ive done this before! Talk about the mission preparing you for life...I feel like I have the same experiences over again here...its like I need to use them again or something. :)
Well...I'm going to talk about how long I have left for just a minute...then, I want us all to not talk about it anymore...at least as much as possible.
I counted the other day...I have 51 days left in the mission. 51. On Monday night, I realized that 1 month and 1/2 is fairly short and I just started crying and crying and praying to be able to make the most of it. It really hit me. I just filled with such a heart wrenching pain...it hurt! I never want to feel that again..but unfortunately, I will have to. I want to make the most of this short short time. I want to give my all. I am going to need you to not talk about me going home. Ill try my best too. Obviously, we can say 'cant wait to see you'' or we can talk about necessary plans...but I really don't want to think about it. If I can forget myself and forget my health and this reality and give it all...coming home will be sweet. Please support me in this. PLEASE, tell me everything... talk about your lives and missionary work and I will talk about mine. I have felt the missionary spirit and I need it to keep going while I am a full-time missionary. I know we're all excited, heck Im so excited to hug you all...but I just ask that we talk about it when I'm home.
I love you all and I know you understand this. I miss you more than ever right now. I could really use a solid hug and an oatmeal cookie with a side of WAFFLE CRISP!!! WHAT WHAT! But I can wait, we can wait. Then when we get together again and we say ''we did it!'' we can also say ''we left everything behind, wasn't that worth it''
ok, moment over :) I love the mission. I love how hard it is and how much I have to push myself. I love every single moment and every single heartache. I love those mistakes I made because I learned from them, and I became something better. I love my Saviour. Luckily, He loves me too! There is nothing more fulfilling than missionary work. We're teaching a lesson today about missionary work using Alma 29: 9... ''that might be an instrument in bringing [someone unto the Lord] and this is my joy''. THIS IS MY JOY!!! THis is who I am...I have found who I am here and I have found the path to who I can become.
I cant wait to see you all again...well I can...but there isnt a better way to say it...Im REEEEAAALLY looking forward to seeing you and hugging you :)
I love you all with my whole soul, with everything that I am. I pray for you and live for you each day. I know that you will be blessed through my service. That is my great hope! I love you. I love you. I love you :)
Sorella Carlock
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