Well, here I am!
This is my first post since I returned home.
I got home Halloween 2014, so I've been home for about six months.
I left the mission the same way I came in, quietly. I guess, like everyone, I just expected to feel so..different. When I was released, I still felt the same. I didn't even feel the missionary mantle lift, I expected it to be more crushing. I still felt like 'missionary me', and for that I'm glad. My mom said its a sign that I was doing the right thing the whole time, like I was able to feel the same because I had really been changed. It's true.
I was a good missionary. I did my best and I know that the Lord accepts my offering; I feel that. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I was put to the test in every way possible, and I experienced many trials. I am grateful for each rejection, each heartache, and each moment of struggle. I became a true disciple of Christ. I came to know who I am through sacrifice and service.
I love and cherish every day that I wore my missionary name-tag. I wish I could still place it over my heart and wear it proudly in front of others. I wish that my full-time missionary service never had to end, but it has and now I'm home.
I'm not so good at being a normal citizen! I'm having to re-learn how to relate to others and how to overcome trials. I struggle every day with meaningful scripture study and prayer. You see, everyone talks about being an RM like it's a breeze. Everyone talks about the experience you have being a motivation. For the first few months, I just wanted to go back. Luckily, I got to visit over the Christmas break. I went back to most of my cities. I saw investigators, new converts, missionaries, and members. I love Italy with all of my heart. It will always be a part of me.
Although I've been home for a good amount of time, I still have lots to learn. Now I have to put into practice all of the things that the mission taught me. It's hard. It's always going to be hard, I guess. That's just life! However, I am grateful for each day and each opportunity for improvement.
I know that the Saviour and our Father in Heaven still love even me. They are rooting for me to do well, to succeed. I so want to make them proud.
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I think I'll keep posting to this blog. It might be a great strength to me, to express myself and to remember my service.
I never want to forget..
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