Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Seventy-eight: October 29, 2014 Bologna THE FINAL POST FROM ITALIA
Here I am. My last full day in Bologna and my last P-Day. I'm in the same internet point that we always go to and yet again I'm crying. Not because I feel inadequate or because I need support to keep going. I am filled with a peace and a love and a joy that makes me feel just so happy.
I have done what I needed to do.
There is a special talk by President Eyring. In the talk he says ''it is hard to know when we have done enough to know that the Atonement has changed us."
It has taken me 18 months to know, but I am certain in my belief and right down to my soul that I have been changed for good. I am not a fence-sitter. I am firm in the faith.
Thank you so much for your support and faith in me and in the Lord. Thank you for your emails, your cheers and possible tears given on my behalf. Its been a hard time, but Ive fought the good fight, and Im so close to the finish line. I will return with honor. It's ALMOST over.
Constantly in the past week I have been receiving little confirmations from the Lord that He is pleased with me. Through the members, complete strangers, other missionaries, the scriptures, my companion, and just simply by the way I feel. I feel strong. I feel tall. I feel calm and peaceful.
I'm going to cry like a baby when I leave. I'll probably cry for a few weeks, or forever. I won't know how to be a normal person. I'll have to find myself, but the ground I'm on is solid enough that I know where to start and where to look for my guide.
I don't have much to say this week because all of the things I want to say will sound a lot better in person. 2 days. 'Im excited. I haven't felt excited until I sat down to do internet, but I'm excited. Never trunky, but I'm ready because its time.
OK so....I also don't want to get thrown back into the world right away. I went to sit at home and enjoy my family. I might want to go out to eat, or maybe just take a drive to Eagle Rock and eat some Watchung Deli sandwiches. That sounds like a good idea. I really don't know what I'll want to do. I think what I really want to do might be this...
I get to the airport and we reunite :)
We go home and I drop off my stuff
We go to the deli and get some sandwiches
We go to Eagle Rock and sit and talk
Then we go home and read the scriptures together (I might need to finish my 3rd time in Italian. I have about 140 pages left and I have to finish before I am released. So we can read in Italian.. :)
I want to sing hymns and read scriptures and talk about Jesus and the mission and I want to show you all of the weird things about me. I'll let you poke fun at my bad English and I just want to be at home.
Originally, I wanted Eva to plan for me to go out with the sister missionaries so that I could still be a missionary and preach at home, but I think I just want to be home for a little. Just relax and not feel the pressure to do anything. I want to feel the Spirit with you while I am still a missionary and have that be that.
Calm. Quiet. Us together.
It's going to be weird leaving Italy. I have lived and learned and done so much here. I am going to have a hard time making the switch. I don't really understand music or movies or internet, other than church stuff. I did, however, buy the DVD of the Lion King in Italian and since we watched a Disney movie for Christmas, I feel OK watching the Lion King after being set apart -- to practice my Italian it'll be good, too. I don't really want to listen or watch anything. Maybe the 17 Miracles movie, but piano piano (little by little) to help me ease back in.
I am so excited for this youth conference. And, I am more excited that the girls are excited for me. That makes me feel good. My biggest worry when I get home is that I'll have no one and I'll become one of those kids that just hangs around town after they've graduated high school. I know that's not true, but fear and Satan tell me its a possibility. I am glad people are looking forward to me coming home and that I can be a good example for them. I think it'll be perfect for me.
Thanks for making the doctor's appointment. I'm so ready to be fixed. Also, I REALLY want to go to the temple, really badly, can we do that fairly soon after I get home?
I want to get my hair cut and nails done as well so that I feel normal and not like such a slob ha ha. But I WILL pay for that on my own. I'll work doing something and I'll pay for that.
Also, I just remembered. Please tell Sister Newman that I loved her letter and I would've sent one back but I'll get there quicker than the letter. Tell her thank you for thinking of me.
--
Well, I cant think of anything else. This is it. I've done what I could do, and the Lord helped me do more. I feel like a good missionary. I don't doubt that anymore. I feel good about who I am, what I have done, and who I can become.
Just don't think I'm fat when I get home. I just need some time to exercise and I'll be in good shape in no time. :)
I love you sooooo much.
I love you and I cant wait to see you, kiss you, hug you, and cry over our grand victory!
We did it together. We are not only sealed by the covenant but we are sealed together by our triumph. We did it.
Never give up. Never.
Sorella Carlock
I have done what I needed to do.
There is a special talk by President Eyring. In the talk he says ''it is hard to know when we have done enough to know that the Atonement has changed us."
It has taken me 18 months to know, but I am certain in my belief and right down to my soul that I have been changed for good. I am not a fence-sitter. I am firm in the faith.
Thank you so much for your support and faith in me and in the Lord. Thank you for your emails, your cheers and possible tears given on my behalf. Its been a hard time, but Ive fought the good fight, and Im so close to the finish line. I will return with honor. It's ALMOST over.
Constantly in the past week I have been receiving little confirmations from the Lord that He is pleased with me. Through the members, complete strangers, other missionaries, the scriptures, my companion, and just simply by the way I feel. I feel strong. I feel tall. I feel calm and peaceful.
I'm going to cry like a baby when I leave. I'll probably cry for a few weeks, or forever. I won't know how to be a normal person. I'll have to find myself, but the ground I'm on is solid enough that I know where to start and where to look for my guide.
I don't have much to say this week because all of the things I want to say will sound a lot better in person. 2 days. 'Im excited. I haven't felt excited until I sat down to do internet, but I'm excited. Never trunky, but I'm ready because its time.
OK so....I also don't want to get thrown back into the world right away. I went to sit at home and enjoy my family. I might want to go out to eat, or maybe just take a drive to Eagle Rock and eat some Watchung Deli sandwiches. That sounds like a good idea. I really don't know what I'll want to do. I think what I really want to do might be this...
I get to the airport and we reunite :)
We go home and I drop off my stuff
We go to the deli and get some sandwiches
We go to Eagle Rock and sit and talk
Then we go home and read the scriptures together (I might need to finish my 3rd time in Italian. I have about 140 pages left and I have to finish before I am released. So we can read in Italian.. :)
I want to sing hymns and read scriptures and talk about Jesus and the mission and I want to show you all of the weird things about me. I'll let you poke fun at my bad English and I just want to be at home.
Originally, I wanted Eva to plan for me to go out with the sister missionaries so that I could still be a missionary and preach at home, but I think I just want to be home for a little. Just relax and not feel the pressure to do anything. I want to feel the Spirit with you while I am still a missionary and have that be that.
Calm. Quiet. Us together.
It's going to be weird leaving Italy. I have lived and learned and done so much here. I am going to have a hard time making the switch. I don't really understand music or movies or internet, other than church stuff. I did, however, buy the DVD of the Lion King in Italian and since we watched a Disney movie for Christmas, I feel OK watching the Lion King after being set apart -- to practice my Italian it'll be good, too. I don't really want to listen or watch anything. Maybe the 17 Miracles movie, but piano piano (little by little) to help me ease back in.
I am so excited for this youth conference. And, I am more excited that the girls are excited for me. That makes me feel good. My biggest worry when I get home is that I'll have no one and I'll become one of those kids that just hangs around town after they've graduated high school. I know that's not true, but fear and Satan tell me its a possibility. I am glad people are looking forward to me coming home and that I can be a good example for them. I think it'll be perfect for me.
Thanks for making the doctor's appointment. I'm so ready to be fixed. Also, I REALLY want to go to the temple, really badly, can we do that fairly soon after I get home?
I want to get my hair cut and nails done as well so that I feel normal and not like such a slob ha ha. But I WILL pay for that on my own. I'll work doing something and I'll pay for that.
Also, I just remembered. Please tell Sister Newman that I loved her letter and I would've sent one back but I'll get there quicker than the letter. Tell her thank you for thinking of me.
--
Well, I cant think of anything else. This is it. I've done what I could do, and the Lord helped me do more. I feel like a good missionary. I don't doubt that anymore. I feel good about who I am, what I have done, and who I can become.
Just don't think I'm fat when I get home. I just need some time to exercise and I'll be in good shape in no time. :)
I love you sooooo much.
I love you and I cant wait to see you, kiss you, hug you, and cry over our grand victory!
We did it together. We are not only sealed by the covenant but we are sealed together by our triumph. We did it.
Never give up. Never.
Sorella Carlock
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Seventy-seven: October 22, 2014 Bologna
Here I am again!
How are you all this week?
Is it cold in New Jersey yet?
Yesterday it was really warm but today its freezing...probably only about 50 degrees ha ha.
Anyway...
Its been a good week. I honestly think my prayers have changed it. Ive been more sincere and more willing to just act.
The past 2 transfers, I have felt like Ive had to carry the weight of the entire world. I've felt so weighed down by everything and Ive felt a little confused about some things, but I don't feel that anymore. I feel more light. I feel more hope in everything.
I'm going to be honest. I'm absolutely terrified to come home and I dont feel like I have a lot going for me...but I know that I don't have to see ''the distant scene, one step enough for me''
I know that I am not alone on my path of life. Im scared by the world and I'm afraid of the influence that is has had on my life...but I'm different now. I'm not the same and I'm more aware of how I can overcome these trials and temptations. I know what I'm doing now because I'm not lukewarm. I've made my choice about who I will serve and I'm sticking with it.
One thing that I have been able to experience a lot while being out and in life in general, is the idea of standing alone; in being obedient or righteous or following God. I know what doing the right feels like even when everyone else isn't doing the same thing, and even if they are those who should be doing the same. I know that I've chosen the right team, diciamo, and this is the winning team.
This is my last week in the mission. I feel like its OK to talk about it now...I mean. Really though, this is the end. That sits like a weight on my chest and I know I'm going to have such a hard time coming home. Its going to be so different. I've never felt the Spirit like this before, this strongly and consistently. Ive never been so...just..at peace with who I am. I'm going to miss it every day. Its going to be really hard. On the other hand, I know its a part of life and that I have other important things to do.
We did get to see that investigator that we thought was dead...she's not dead! She also lives with e friend now and she became another investigator! Our goal for this month is 12- we're at 3...but I think we can get close. We're just trying to do what we can and as much of it as possible. Im not going to try to make a big hooplah like we have to do something big or grand...I just want to do missionary work and continue to feel that missionary spirit.
I love this work. I love it so much.
Im so glad you sent me a picture of Grandma! Happy Birthday Grandma!!
Im excited to hear about all of the things you write about each week in person. I am so grateful for all of your help and support and love and funny stories and moments of triumph.
We've done it together!
We did it!
Well....there is still time... I keep singing in my head 'I have much work to do' (the hymn) but in Italian... I don't know it in English.
---
I am so down for the Kirtland, OH trip...Im going to be way tired, but I need to do it to have something to do and look forward to.
Also if you could plan a day when we can go to the temple in my first week home...that would be great seeing as I haven't been in a year and a half.
I got the email about November 1st with President Jensen. I'm not excited about it but I am glad that its not Friday and that I have some time to adjust while I'm still a missionary.
Id really like to go on splits with the sisters in our ward if EVA could set that up, that would be awesome.
---
I'm glad you got to see Meet the Mormons. I really want to see it.
You always do all of these fun things! I'm so happy that you're doing some good things. I'm excited to do them with you.
I've done what I could here and I continue to do what I can every day while still trying to get better. I've not been perfect, obviously, but I've done what I could. Then the Lord helped me change so that I could do more. I haven't checked out yet. I'm still here, but I'm ready to go home knowing that I did my part and continue to do my part. I have been successful because I have been changed.
---
Also BTW....they only left about a 20 MINUTE layover for me in Heathrow, so its pretty guaranteed that I'll miss that and I won't be home at the time that they said I would be. It took about 2 hours to even get through customs last time, so be aware.
Next week on Wednesday when you email me, it will be my last day in Bologna. if you could send me, all together maybe, something nice I guess, like a picture of you all on Skype together or something that would be much appreciated. Other than that, next week we can talk about the business-y stuff.
I'm here. I'm in the mission field. I stand as a representative of Jesus Christ. I'm all in. This is it! I love this work with everything that I am. It has changed me through and through.
Its going to feel so great to hug you and kiss your faces :)
Please know that I am doing my best, every day, one step at a time.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love my God, and I am in awe of His mercy in sending me to this Earth so that I could partake of these blessings. The plan is real. Its all real and true and just. I love this work!
Sorella Carlock
How are you all this week?
Is it cold in New Jersey yet?
Yesterday it was really warm but today its freezing...probably only about 50 degrees ha ha.
Anyway...
Its been a good week. I honestly think my prayers have changed it. Ive been more sincere and more willing to just act.
The past 2 transfers, I have felt like Ive had to carry the weight of the entire world. I've felt so weighed down by everything and Ive felt a little confused about some things, but I don't feel that anymore. I feel more light. I feel more hope in everything.
I'm going to be honest. I'm absolutely terrified to come home and I dont feel like I have a lot going for me...but I know that I don't have to see ''the distant scene, one step enough for me''
I know that I am not alone on my path of life. Im scared by the world and I'm afraid of the influence that is has had on my life...but I'm different now. I'm not the same and I'm more aware of how I can overcome these trials and temptations. I know what I'm doing now because I'm not lukewarm. I've made my choice about who I will serve and I'm sticking with it.
One thing that I have been able to experience a lot while being out and in life in general, is the idea of standing alone; in being obedient or righteous or following God. I know what doing the right feels like even when everyone else isn't doing the same thing, and even if they are those who should be doing the same. I know that I've chosen the right team, diciamo, and this is the winning team.
This is my last week in the mission. I feel like its OK to talk about it now...I mean. Really though, this is the end. That sits like a weight on my chest and I know I'm going to have such a hard time coming home. Its going to be so different. I've never felt the Spirit like this before, this strongly and consistently. Ive never been so...just..at peace with who I am. I'm going to miss it every day. Its going to be really hard. On the other hand, I know its a part of life and that I have other important things to do.
We did get to see that investigator that we thought was dead...she's not dead! She also lives with e friend now and she became another investigator! Our goal for this month is 12- we're at 3...but I think we can get close. We're just trying to do what we can and as much of it as possible. Im not going to try to make a big hooplah like we have to do something big or grand...I just want to do missionary work and continue to feel that missionary spirit.
I love this work. I love it so much.
Im so glad you sent me a picture of Grandma! Happy Birthday Grandma!!
Im excited to hear about all of the things you write about each week in person. I am so grateful for all of your help and support and love and funny stories and moments of triumph.
We've done it together!
We did it!
Well....there is still time... I keep singing in my head 'I have much work to do' (the hymn) but in Italian... I don't know it in English.
---
I am so down for the Kirtland, OH trip...Im going to be way tired, but I need to do it to have something to do and look forward to.
Also if you could plan a day when we can go to the temple in my first week home...that would be great seeing as I haven't been in a year and a half.
I got the email about November 1st with President Jensen. I'm not excited about it but I am glad that its not Friday and that I have some time to adjust while I'm still a missionary.
Id really like to go on splits with the sisters in our ward if EVA could set that up, that would be awesome.
---
I'm glad you got to see Meet the Mormons. I really want to see it.
You always do all of these fun things! I'm so happy that you're doing some good things. I'm excited to do them with you.
I've done what I could here and I continue to do what I can every day while still trying to get better. I've not been perfect, obviously, but I've done what I could. Then the Lord helped me change so that I could do more. I haven't checked out yet. I'm still here, but I'm ready to go home knowing that I did my part and continue to do my part. I have been successful because I have been changed.
---
Also BTW....they only left about a 20 MINUTE layover for me in Heathrow, so its pretty guaranteed that I'll miss that and I won't be home at the time that they said I would be. It took about 2 hours to even get through customs last time, so be aware.
Next week on Wednesday when you email me, it will be my last day in Bologna. if you could send me, all together maybe, something nice I guess, like a picture of you all on Skype together or something that would be much appreciated. Other than that, next week we can talk about the business-y stuff.
I'm here. I'm in the mission field. I stand as a representative of Jesus Christ. I'm all in. This is it! I love this work with everything that I am. It has changed me through and through.
Its going to feel so great to hug you and kiss your faces :)
Please know that I am doing my best, every day, one step at a time.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love my God, and I am in awe of His mercy in sending me to this Earth so that I could partake of these blessings. The plan is real. Its all real and true and just. I love this work!
Sorella Carlock
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Seventy-six: October 15, 2014 Bologna
How are you?
Thanks for all of the emails and all of the great stories and pictures.
Happy Birthday Tanney!!!
I like your hair, Mommy!
Eva.Thanks for the email and for being a good example!
---
Well.
I have a question. I went to the bank and I pulled money out of the personal card. I didn't know there was any there? How much money is there? That way I can be smart about it.
---
Well I think the best part of this week were all of your emails. It was great to see how everything has been able to be worked out for Mommy's job. That's really special how it all worked. Its funny how sometimes those little decisions we make make all the difference. Its also more great how guided we are throughout our whole lives. Its amazing. Mind-boggling, really.
We'll never be able to understand in this life how intricately made His plan was for us.
---
Our investigator, P, is most likely dead. She's had about 4 heart attacks this year and she hasn't answered her phone for 2 weeks. We haven't heard anything from her.
We did pick up to other investigators though, which is good because now we have people to teach, along with our less-actives. The work in Bologna is just slow. Its pretty much not moving...
We aren't starting from scratch because there have been sisters here for about a year...but we're starting from scratch and I just don't want to have to search and search for people. I know I should and I'm trying to get better. Its difficult I think because in Vicenza we had SOOO much work, even when we weren't all that busy, we always had something to do. So coming from there, its a bit of a shock. Also, whenever we did finding, people ALWAYS talked to us. ALWAYS! Now its just a lot of rejection...so, yeah its a little exhausting.
Im really sorry I always vent. It does feel better to get it out though. I just want to have more to do. ha ha...we just have to MAKE more to do, and that's the hard part. BUT we're working on it. We have 2 new investigators! One is an old man we met at the park who has had a stroke so he struggles to speak. Another is an ex investigator that seems really open but is still very attached to the catholic church- she has a lot of deep questions which is hard, but its good practice for us.
I don't know, any advice? What am I doing wrong?
Just don't worry about me though. I'm not like dying or anything. You know what...I think its my prayers. I haven't been all that good about having meaningful prayers and I think that's it. I'm not really asking for help from Heavenly Father, so it makes sense. Ok, so I'll work on my prayers.
I got a blessing last week and it said that He was proud of me, so I just have to believe that and let that motivate me.
Missionary work is hard! Its also the most rewarding. Im about dead, physically and mentally...but that doesn't matter so much. Man, Im really excited for my bed...its big and comfy :)
Just keep updating me with how everything is going. Let me know how everything is. I love pictures too!!!
I love the Father. I love the Saviour. I love the Holy Ghost. I love the scriptures and prayer and church and the Sacrament. I love my life and this plan. I LOVE MY FAMILY! I love you all so much. Thanks for your support and your love. Its funny because although throughout the week I may not see much ''number success'', I come to do email and you email me with all of these miracles and that's why I'm here. Not to see numbers, but to bless the lives of others with the love of our Father- be it in Italy or the United States. Heavenly Father loves us! You, personally! YEAH, YOU!
And as merciful as He is, He loves me, too. Meno male.
We've had some really good lessons the past week....on the positive side. We teach a lot of less-actives and whenever we go, the only thing I can ever really say is ''look, God loves you, and He'll help you. just do your part! pray, read the scriptures. He wants to help you!''
ALSO! We had a mostra this past Sunday....AND A BUNCH OF MEMBERS CAME! THERE WERE SO MANY MEMBERS! they've never come before apparently. WOW! It was awesome. The drawing got way out of hand, but everyone was passing stuff out and talking to people. It was the best.
Also, Ive started to read the Bible again and its helping me understand the nature of Christ more. Which is nice. Sorella Stott and I have been trying to read the scriptures from the Topical Guide about Christ like : Jesus Christ, Exemplar...all those sections. Its been nice.
Ok...so I guess I really just need to get how I was feeling out and now I feel much better. I'M SO SORRY that this email is sooo long. But I'm so grateful that I get to at least email you. Man, I can't wait to give you all hugs and kisses!
I love you all so much.
And I guess, like I just did, try to see the good from the bad...rather than just the bad eh? ha ha.
Thanks for listening
Thanks for loving me
Thanks for being my family
Sorella Carlock
Thanks for all of the emails and all of the great stories and pictures.
Happy Birthday Tanney!!!
I like your hair, Mommy!
Eva.Thanks for the email and for being a good example!
---
Well.
I have a question. I went to the bank and I pulled money out of the personal card. I didn't know there was any there? How much money is there? That way I can be smart about it.
---
Well I think the best part of this week were all of your emails. It was great to see how everything has been able to be worked out for Mommy's job. That's really special how it all worked. Its funny how sometimes those little decisions we make make all the difference. Its also more great how guided we are throughout our whole lives. Its amazing. Mind-boggling, really.
We'll never be able to understand in this life how intricately made His plan was for us.
---
Our investigator, P, is most likely dead. She's had about 4 heart attacks this year and she hasn't answered her phone for 2 weeks. We haven't heard anything from her.
We did pick up to other investigators though, which is good because now we have people to teach, along with our less-actives. The work in Bologna is just slow. Its pretty much not moving...
We aren't starting from scratch because there have been sisters here for about a year...but we're starting from scratch and I just don't want to have to search and search for people. I know I should and I'm trying to get better. Its difficult I think because in Vicenza we had SOOO much work, even when we weren't all that busy, we always had something to do. So coming from there, its a bit of a shock. Also, whenever we did finding, people ALWAYS talked to us. ALWAYS! Now its just a lot of rejection...so, yeah its a little exhausting.
Im really sorry I always vent. It does feel better to get it out though. I just want to have more to do. ha ha...we just have to MAKE more to do, and that's the hard part. BUT we're working on it. We have 2 new investigators! One is an old man we met at the park who has had a stroke so he struggles to speak. Another is an ex investigator that seems really open but is still very attached to the catholic church- she has a lot of deep questions which is hard, but its good practice for us.
I don't know, any advice? What am I doing wrong?
Just don't worry about me though. I'm not like dying or anything. You know what...I think its my prayers. I haven't been all that good about having meaningful prayers and I think that's it. I'm not really asking for help from Heavenly Father, so it makes sense. Ok, so I'll work on my prayers.
I got a blessing last week and it said that He was proud of me, so I just have to believe that and let that motivate me.
Missionary work is hard! Its also the most rewarding. Im about dead, physically and mentally...but that doesn't matter so much. Man, Im really excited for my bed...its big and comfy :)
Just keep updating me with how everything is going. Let me know how everything is. I love pictures too!!!
I love the Father. I love the Saviour. I love the Holy Ghost. I love the scriptures and prayer and church and the Sacrament. I love my life and this plan. I LOVE MY FAMILY! I love you all so much. Thanks for your support and your love. Its funny because although throughout the week I may not see much ''number success'', I come to do email and you email me with all of these miracles and that's why I'm here. Not to see numbers, but to bless the lives of others with the love of our Father- be it in Italy or the United States. Heavenly Father loves us! You, personally! YEAH, YOU!
And as merciful as He is, He loves me, too. Meno male.
We've had some really good lessons the past week....on the positive side. We teach a lot of less-actives and whenever we go, the only thing I can ever really say is ''look, God loves you, and He'll help you. just do your part! pray, read the scriptures. He wants to help you!''
ALSO! We had a mostra this past Sunday....AND A BUNCH OF MEMBERS CAME! THERE WERE SO MANY MEMBERS! they've never come before apparently. WOW! It was awesome. The drawing got way out of hand, but everyone was passing stuff out and talking to people. It was the best.
Also, Ive started to read the Bible again and its helping me understand the nature of Christ more. Which is nice. Sorella Stott and I have been trying to read the scriptures from the Topical Guide about Christ like : Jesus Christ, Exemplar...all those sections. Its been nice.
Ok...so I guess I really just need to get how I was feeling out and now I feel much better. I'M SO SORRY that this email is sooo long. But I'm so grateful that I get to at least email you. Man, I can't wait to give you all hugs and kisses!
I love you all so much.
And I guess, like I just did, try to see the good from the bad...rather than just the bad eh? ha ha.
Thanks for listening
Thanks for loving me
Thanks for being my family
Sorella Carlock
Seventy-five: October 8, 2014 Bologna
Hey family, how are you?
Well... I guess I have a few cool things to share.
Did you get my pictures? I sent a lot of pictures this week. 16 I think.
I had my last Zone meeting this week. I was all butterflies for a few days, but it was fine once we got there. I gave my departing testimony. It was weird.
I didn't really want to, but I did. I got up and I just couldn't think. I had so many thoughts but I couldn't actually think of any of them. Luckily, I had written a few things down and that was a guide of some sort.
I said something along the lines of...
( I quoted Mark 8: 35, about losing your life to find it.) I am so grateful for the blessing of being able to serve, because as I served I found myself. This is who I am.
I might not have done anything huge or worth writing a book about, but I worked hard and I was a good missionary. I did what I could do, and then the Lord helped me do more.
I am the outcome of the blessings of the Atonement. I am changed and made new in Christ.
Its never too late to change or come unto Him. There is always time.
Do your best, remember who you are and appreciate what you've done.
I love my Saviour.
I have a strong testimony of prayer. I know God listens. Im here because He answered my prayer and I know He listens still.
----
It went something like that.
I felt much better after I had said it all out loud because it made me really that Ive been really hard on myself and what Ive been doing. No..I didn't baptize 20 people and right now we only have 1 investigator who isn't progressing all that quickly...but I'm still here. I'm still fighting and I'm doing the best that I can.
I don't need to hurdle mountains...I just have to keep walking. I'm trying to get better every day, but I don't want to criticize my service or myself anymore.
--
Another thing. We had a miracle!
Sorella Stott and I decided to have a few traditions.
Tuesday is target Tuesday...where we pray about someone we want to find, describe the person, and then search! We found our person!!
She was on the bus. I asked her about her necklace...it had Jesus on it! That may sound rare to you because we're in Italy...but I'm actually really surprised it wasn't Mary or a saint or the pope. It was Gesù! how perfect is that?
I got a little nervous though so I didn't try to get her number, but I gave her ours and told her about English class. BUT the point of that is that...IT WORKS! Heavenly Father answered our prayer. All of these little things we are starting to do are just more ways to show that we're committed to finding those that are ready so that we don't waste our time.
Well...that's really about it. I cant remember what else...
Oh yeah. We went to a restaurant for lunch to get pizza...I sent pictures. It was so buono!
We actually ate so much, that I still feel full.
Basically. everything is going well. Piano piano I'm getting to the finish line. I'm doing my best and trying to push myself.
I got a blessing last night and it said Heavenly Father was pleased with my work and wanted me to feel peace about what Ive done. I know that I needed to serve a mission. I think of who I was before and how lost I really was. and then I think of who I am now and how much I have grown. Ive really grown into my skin I guess you could say.
I know who I am and I know Heavenly Father loves me and thats what counts.
Please keep updating me and letting me know how you are and what you are up to.
Be good and know that I pray for you and love you sooooo much!
525 days as a missionary. Every day, a blessing.
Love you
:)
Sorella Lopina
Well... I guess I have a few cool things to share.
Did you get my pictures? I sent a lot of pictures this week. 16 I think.
I had my last Zone meeting this week. I was all butterflies for a few days, but it was fine once we got there. I gave my departing testimony. It was weird.
I didn't really want to, but I did. I got up and I just couldn't think. I had so many thoughts but I couldn't actually think of any of them. Luckily, I had written a few things down and that was a guide of some sort.
I said something along the lines of...
( I quoted Mark 8: 35, about losing your life to find it.) I am so grateful for the blessing of being able to serve, because as I served I found myself. This is who I am.
I might not have done anything huge or worth writing a book about, but I worked hard and I was a good missionary. I did what I could do, and then the Lord helped me do more.
I am the outcome of the blessings of the Atonement. I am changed and made new in Christ.
Its never too late to change or come unto Him. There is always time.
Do your best, remember who you are and appreciate what you've done.
I love my Saviour.
I have a strong testimony of prayer. I know God listens. Im here because He answered my prayer and I know He listens still.
----
It went something like that.
I felt much better after I had said it all out loud because it made me really that Ive been really hard on myself and what Ive been doing. No..I didn't baptize 20 people and right now we only have 1 investigator who isn't progressing all that quickly...but I'm still here. I'm still fighting and I'm doing the best that I can.
I don't need to hurdle mountains...I just have to keep walking. I'm trying to get better every day, but I don't want to criticize my service or myself anymore.
--
Another thing. We had a miracle!
Sorella Stott and I decided to have a few traditions.
Tuesday is target Tuesday...where we pray about someone we want to find, describe the person, and then search! We found our person!!
She was on the bus. I asked her about her necklace...it had Jesus on it! That may sound rare to you because we're in Italy...but I'm actually really surprised it wasn't Mary or a saint or the pope. It was Gesù! how perfect is that?
I got a little nervous though so I didn't try to get her number, but I gave her ours and told her about English class. BUT the point of that is that...IT WORKS! Heavenly Father answered our prayer. All of these little things we are starting to do are just more ways to show that we're committed to finding those that are ready so that we don't waste our time.
Well...that's really about it. I cant remember what else...
Oh yeah. We went to a restaurant for lunch to get pizza...I sent pictures. It was so buono!
We actually ate so much, that I still feel full.
Basically. everything is going well. Piano piano I'm getting to the finish line. I'm doing my best and trying to push myself.
I got a blessing last night and it said Heavenly Father was pleased with my work and wanted me to feel peace about what Ive done. I know that I needed to serve a mission. I think of who I was before and how lost I really was. and then I think of who I am now and how much I have grown. Ive really grown into my skin I guess you could say.
I know who I am and I know Heavenly Father loves me and thats what counts.
Please keep updating me and letting me know how you are and what you are up to.
Be good and know that I pray for you and love you sooooo much!
525 days as a missionary. Every day, a blessing.
Love you
:)
Sorella Lopina
Seventy-four: October 1, 2014 Bologna
You all rock. I had like 40 emails in my inbox and I loved it!! Mostly pictures, lol Eva's face. THE BEST!
I am doing really well today. Really well. I'm just so happy. Sorella Stott and I both are. Man, I don't know what it is, we just feel different.
Well, I guess a few things have happened. We had a scambio, companion exchange, last week. I went to Rimini which is a beach city and I saw the sea. It was amazing! I felt so trapped last year in Milano because I couldn't see water or anything...it was sooo land-y...ya know? I loved being able to smell the salt and feel the breeze. Of course we didn't go on the beach or anything, but it was pretty to see.
We also had the best gelato Ive had in my entire life~ si chiama, (its called) Biscotto della Nonna....GRANDMAS COOKIES! It was great.
Anyway. The sister I was with was really good at talking things out with me. She was trained by Sorella Harward and she is in my MTC group. She was so kind and she gave me a good analogy.
She used to swim and she had a race once where she just kind of eased along. She was a good swimmer so it wasn't hard. Then at the end she had lots of energy and so she ''sprinted to the end''. Her brother, who was kind of like her coach, asked her how she was able to finish so easily. She said ''well I just had all this energy at the end.'' Her brother said, ''that's because you weren't doing your best the whole way through.''
She then explained that I was so tired because I had been going and going the whole way. We cant ''sprint to the end'' in the way that we might want to if we're tired from all the swimming we've already been doing.
Its ok that I'm tired and that I kind of want to stop. It means Ive done my part! Through all of these little analogies that everyone is making, my guilty conscience has been cleared. I understand more fully the Atonement and how Heavenly Father is taking an account of my service. I get that its ok, as long as I don't give up now! 30 days. YEAH! I can do it!
The Elders in our city keep counting down to day 0 for me....but I'm counting up. How many days have I left behind? How many days have a sprinted through...? Freak...I don't know...but I'm tired...and it feels awful and great all at the same time. I'm kind of at the point. when you exercise and your lungs start hurting and your legs feel like jelly but you just kind of feel alive. I feel alive. I feel like we are about to have so many miracles.
This month, being the last. We set a goal to have 12 new investigators and 1 baptism. President asked us to find 3 new people a week and we want to do that. PRAY FOR US PLEASE! We have faith sufficient, and prayers will help us keep going. We're going to do it. I want to do everything I can to help Sorella Stott know that miracles are possible and they happen every day.
We have been doing so well together lately. We pretty much only speak in Italian together. Some English here and there, but mostly of the day is spent speaking Italian. I love it! She loves it too...even though its hard. We had a sweet moment last night too. When I was a trainee, Sorella Hoppe said 'ti voglio bene' every night to me. I don't know why I haven't done it...but I wanted to start because I want Sorella Stott to know that I do love her. I do say ''buona notte'' and that's just become our thing. But last night she said ''ti voglio bene''....and I feel like a total piece of milk toast, but it warmed my heart and it made me feel so good!
We're becoming friends, forever friends, her and I. I really enjoy being her companion. She's a great missionary with lots of amazing ideas and she isn't afraid. She gets that big things can happen, and WILL happen, if we do our part and trust God. Che speciale, no? Also, I told her that after the mission, we're only going to speak together in Italian...so we're excited for that too.
Basically, things are looking up. We were with our investigator Pasqua yesterday, and she says to me ''you look as white as a sheet'' and I just said ''oh I'm just tired''...so obviously its visible how exhausted I am....but I feel more happy and more hopeful than last week and I know Heavenly Father is helping us.
Man...I just want to tell you everything. OH...I'll be giving my 'dying' testimony on Monday. It'll be my last public testimony among missionaries...I'm kind of dreading it...because how could I possibly say anything worth while in a few minutes. Its not enough time...I need at least 45 minutes to share how much the mission has changed me. I am so different....I cant even fathom how different I am from who I was before. You'll be so surprised....its all the little things.
I'm excited to relearn each other, diciamo. I think we'll have a lot of time to just build on our family unit and our faith together. Man...its going to be the best!
Basically....everything is ok for now. I am hopeful and ready to work harder...
Yesterday we left the house at 825 ..we didn't even study...and we got back in at 925pm! 13 hrs! It was the best! I loved it. It made me realize how much of a homebody I was and how much I actually like being outside now. So much is different. Im still not at my old 100% but I'm doing my best for what I can offer now...and Im searching to improve. I'm changing every day!
-----
Well....thats about it. We went to this BEAUTIFUL...and I mean BEAUTIFULLLLL... catholic church today. It was amazing...not gaudy or dark or creepy...mamma mia, era bellissima!
Look it up
Oratorio
Il transito della vergine
by Alfonso
Its a terracotta statue depiction of Ananias being cast out of somewhere by an angel, mi sembra...non mi ricordo. But anyway it was so beautiful.
We have gone on some good adventures, but we didn't bring the camera SD card adaptor, so we'll send un sacco di foto next week
Know that I love you and that I am praying for you. Every night.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Keep writing and please keep sending pictures. It really makes a difference.
Sorella Carlock
I am doing really well today. Really well. I'm just so happy. Sorella Stott and I both are. Man, I don't know what it is, we just feel different.
Well, I guess a few things have happened. We had a scambio, companion exchange, last week. I went to Rimini which is a beach city and I saw the sea. It was amazing! I felt so trapped last year in Milano because I couldn't see water or anything...it was sooo land-y...ya know? I loved being able to smell the salt and feel the breeze. Of course we didn't go on the beach or anything, but it was pretty to see.
We also had the best gelato Ive had in my entire life~ si chiama, (its called) Biscotto della Nonna....GRANDMAS COOKIES! It was great.
Anyway. The sister I was with was really good at talking things out with me. She was trained by Sorella Harward and she is in my MTC group. She was so kind and she gave me a good analogy.
She used to swim and she had a race once where she just kind of eased along. She was a good swimmer so it wasn't hard. Then at the end she had lots of energy and so she ''sprinted to the end''. Her brother, who was kind of like her coach, asked her how she was able to finish so easily. She said ''well I just had all this energy at the end.'' Her brother said, ''that's because you weren't doing your best the whole way through.''
She then explained that I was so tired because I had been going and going the whole way. We cant ''sprint to the end'' in the way that we might want to if we're tired from all the swimming we've already been doing.
Its ok that I'm tired and that I kind of want to stop. It means Ive done my part! Through all of these little analogies that everyone is making, my guilty conscience has been cleared. I understand more fully the Atonement and how Heavenly Father is taking an account of my service. I get that its ok, as long as I don't give up now! 30 days. YEAH! I can do it!
The Elders in our city keep counting down to day 0 for me....but I'm counting up. How many days have I left behind? How many days have a sprinted through...? Freak...I don't know...but I'm tired...and it feels awful and great all at the same time. I'm kind of at the point. when you exercise and your lungs start hurting and your legs feel like jelly but you just kind of feel alive. I feel alive. I feel like we are about to have so many miracles.
This month, being the last. We set a goal to have 12 new investigators and 1 baptism. President asked us to find 3 new people a week and we want to do that. PRAY FOR US PLEASE! We have faith sufficient, and prayers will help us keep going. We're going to do it. I want to do everything I can to help Sorella Stott know that miracles are possible and they happen every day.
We have been doing so well together lately. We pretty much only speak in Italian together. Some English here and there, but mostly of the day is spent speaking Italian. I love it! She loves it too...even though its hard. We had a sweet moment last night too. When I was a trainee, Sorella Hoppe said 'ti voglio bene' every night to me. I don't know why I haven't done it...but I wanted to start because I want Sorella Stott to know that I do love her. I do say ''buona notte'' and that's just become our thing. But last night she said ''ti voglio bene''....and I feel like a total piece of milk toast, but it warmed my heart and it made me feel so good!
We're becoming friends, forever friends, her and I. I really enjoy being her companion. She's a great missionary with lots of amazing ideas and she isn't afraid. She gets that big things can happen, and WILL happen, if we do our part and trust God. Che speciale, no? Also, I told her that after the mission, we're only going to speak together in Italian...so we're excited for that too.
Basically, things are looking up. We were with our investigator Pasqua yesterday, and she says to me ''you look as white as a sheet'' and I just said ''oh I'm just tired''...so obviously its visible how exhausted I am....but I feel more happy and more hopeful than last week and I know Heavenly Father is helping us.
Man...I just want to tell you everything. OH...I'll be giving my 'dying' testimony on Monday. It'll be my last public testimony among missionaries...I'm kind of dreading it...because how could I possibly say anything worth while in a few minutes. Its not enough time...I need at least 45 minutes to share how much the mission has changed me. I am so different....I cant even fathom how different I am from who I was before. You'll be so surprised....its all the little things.
I'm excited to relearn each other, diciamo. I think we'll have a lot of time to just build on our family unit and our faith together. Man...its going to be the best!
Basically....everything is ok for now. I am hopeful and ready to work harder...
Yesterday we left the house at 825 ..we didn't even study...and we got back in at 925pm! 13 hrs! It was the best! I loved it. It made me realize how much of a homebody I was and how much I actually like being outside now. So much is different. Im still not at my old 100% but I'm doing my best for what I can offer now...and Im searching to improve. I'm changing every day!
-----
Well....thats about it. We went to this BEAUTIFUL...and I mean BEAUTIFULLLLL... catholic church today. It was amazing...not gaudy or dark or creepy...mamma mia, era bellissima!
Look it up
Oratorio
Il transito della vergine
by Alfonso
Its a terracotta statue depiction of Ananias being cast out of somewhere by an angel, mi sembra...non mi ricordo. But anyway it was so beautiful.
We have gone on some good adventures, but we didn't bring the camera SD card adaptor, so we'll send un sacco di foto next week
Know that I love you and that I am praying for you. Every night.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Keep writing and please keep sending pictures. It really makes a difference.
Sorella Carlock
Letter from President Dibb
29 September 2014
Dear Sister Harmon,
For the past eighteen months, your daughter, Sister Zoe Jade Carlock, has been faithfully serving in the Italy Milan Mission, teaching the gospel to the Italian people. The time is approaching for her to return home and begin a new phase of her life.
Sister Carlock entered Italy on 12 Jun 2013, and served in the cities Milano Cimiano, Genova, Vicenza and Bologna.
Sister Carlock has represented the Church and the Lord well. I understand the importance of her personal progress and pray for her success as she returns home. Please help her to keep the wonderful patterns that she has developed as a missionary, so that they may become habits for her life.
We express our deepest gratitude for the missionary labors of Sister Carlock here in Italy. We would like to thank you for your great contribution in rearing and training your to serve the Lord, and for your sacrifice, love and support to her during her mission.
Sincerely,
Presidente Bruce L. Dibb
Presidente di Missione
Missione Italiana di Milano
+39 02 5760 0860
Via A. Gramsci 13
20090 Opera (MI)
Italia
brudi@ldschurch.org
Registrati su: mormon.org/ita/me/B4ZW/BruceDibb
Dear Sister Harmon,
For the past eighteen months, your daughter, Sister Zoe Jade Carlock, has been faithfully serving in the Italy Milan Mission, teaching the gospel to the Italian people. The time is approaching for her to return home and begin a new phase of her life.
Sister Carlock entered Italy on 12 Jun 2013, and served in the cities Milano Cimiano, Genova, Vicenza and Bologna.
Sister Carlock has represented the Church and the Lord well. I understand the importance of her personal progress and pray for her success as she returns home. Please help her to keep the wonderful patterns that she has developed as a missionary, so that they may become habits for her life.
We express our deepest gratitude for the missionary labors of Sister Carlock here in Italy. We would like to thank you for your great contribution in rearing and training your to serve the Lord, and for your sacrifice, love and support to her during her mission.
Sincerely,
Presidente Bruce L. Dibb
Presidente di Missione
Missione Italiana di Milano
+39 02 5760 0860
Via A. Gramsci 13
20090 Opera (MI)
Italia
brudi@ldschurch.org
Registrati su: mormon.org/ita/me/B4ZW/BruceDibb
Seventy-three: September 24, 2014 Bologna
I read all of your emails and just sit here and cry and cry...ha ha, its kind of ridiculous really.
Today, its really hit me. I'm really really tired. I can barely walk. I'm exercising, I'm trying to eat more healthful foods. (Just now that when I get home, I'm going to be kind of a health-nut, so watch out)
I just don't know what else I can give.
Eva will like this comparison I'm about to make....
In the first book of the Hunger Games, Katniss is in the Games and she's just been burned by that fireball thing. She's really thirsty and she is about to give up and die....That's how I feel. Like I can't find the strength that I'm looking for and that I've been doing this for so long that its almost easier to just let go.
Katniss thinks that Haymitch should've sent water...why isn't he sending water or something to help? She feels like he's given up on her and then she realizes...He isn't sending her water as a sign- she's so close...she just needs to keep going.
I want to make every day count. I don't know how to feel satisfied with what I've done, because I feel like that will make me complacent. I cannot NOT finish strong. It would crush me. I'm trying my best though. I'm trying to measure my limits by asking, ''could I do more right now?'' or ''do I need to sit and take a rest or could I keep going?'' ...something like that.
I wanted to say though- it is so great to see that Heavenly Father is blessing you all in various ways. He IS mindful of us and what we need and is always willing and ready to help us...especially when we ask and thank Him for the help previously received. I am half amazed, half un-amazed, because I know that its true- but each time it seems to be a more specific and 'intimate' answer. A personal and deep yearning for help. He's answered every prayer. Everything. There is no way He doesn't exist or love us. things don't just happen like this. This is a greater testimony that He is (Dio c'è!!!)
I am so grateful for prayers and for the scriptures. Each time I read the scriptures, I learn something new. BTW!!! I have finished the Book of Mormon twice now in Italian and I am about 250 pages into my third go-around....SO I'm going to read it 3 times! I'm going to be fluent. Every time I open the Book of Mormon, I feel the Spirit telling me that it is true and I feel that it completes the Bible because I read the Bible and they share the same gift of love....I don't know how to explain it in English.
BTW again....Eva I hope you're ready to speak Italian with me for the rest of your life. I bet youìre so good already and I can help you with your accent. Mom says you're already great though and I believe her.--- I'll be your Italian cousin.. My name will be Valentina...or I don't know, you can choose. :)
It's funny because sometimes I yell in Italian...I'm not angry really, but something will fall...or a guy will cough on me...or ill get my foot stuck in the bus door and (most times just in my head) Ill yell something in Italian- I talk to myself mostly in Italian...like when I'm tired I'm like...ok vai. alzati, andiamo. its fun. It helps me remember and its good practice.
I'm sorry I don't have much to talk about this week. We're trying to have a really good week where we push ourselves...I don't know how much I have left to push, but please pray that Heavenly Father will make up the difference.
---
I cannot wait to hug you and kiss you and tell you in person that I love you. That thought motivates me to keep going. It is like you said Mom, I dont know how to stop, but I dont know how to keep going either. I'll get there. I'm on my way. Its all more beautiful from the top.
I love you all with my whole soul. You are a source of great strength and love.
I can't wait to be able to text you silly things and cook Italian food for all of you. I can't wait to tell you all of the stories and to read from the scriptures and pray with you. I love you all, Mommy, Tanney, Evie. I love you!
FEEL MY LOOOOOVE :) I am here but know that I am sending my love your way.
This is my last transfer. 5 and a half weeks. I can do this. I'm going to do this. I'm doing it already!
I love you
I love you
I love you
Sorella Carlock
Today, its really hit me. I'm really really tired. I can barely walk. I'm exercising, I'm trying to eat more healthful foods. (Just now that when I get home, I'm going to be kind of a health-nut, so watch out)
I just don't know what else I can give.
Eva will like this comparison I'm about to make....
In the first book of the Hunger Games, Katniss is in the Games and she's just been burned by that fireball thing. She's really thirsty and she is about to give up and die....That's how I feel. Like I can't find the strength that I'm looking for and that I've been doing this for so long that its almost easier to just let go.
Katniss thinks that Haymitch should've sent water...why isn't he sending water or something to help? She feels like he's given up on her and then she realizes...He isn't sending her water as a sign- she's so close...she just needs to keep going.
I want to make every day count. I don't know how to feel satisfied with what I've done, because I feel like that will make me complacent. I cannot NOT finish strong. It would crush me. I'm trying my best though. I'm trying to measure my limits by asking, ''could I do more right now?'' or ''do I need to sit and take a rest or could I keep going?'' ...something like that.
I wanted to say though- it is so great to see that Heavenly Father is blessing you all in various ways. He IS mindful of us and what we need and is always willing and ready to help us...especially when we ask and thank Him for the help previously received. I am half amazed, half un-amazed, because I know that its true- but each time it seems to be a more specific and 'intimate' answer. A personal and deep yearning for help. He's answered every prayer. Everything. There is no way He doesn't exist or love us. things don't just happen like this. This is a greater testimony that He is (Dio c'è!!!)
I am so grateful for prayers and for the scriptures. Each time I read the scriptures, I learn something new. BTW!!! I have finished the Book of Mormon twice now in Italian and I am about 250 pages into my third go-around....SO I'm going to read it 3 times! I'm going to be fluent. Every time I open the Book of Mormon, I feel the Spirit telling me that it is true and I feel that it completes the Bible because I read the Bible and they share the same gift of love....I don't know how to explain it in English.
BTW again....Eva I hope you're ready to speak Italian with me for the rest of your life. I bet youìre so good already and I can help you with your accent. Mom says you're already great though and I believe her.--- I'll be your Italian cousin.. My name will be Valentina...or I don't know, you can choose. :)
It's funny because sometimes I yell in Italian...I'm not angry really, but something will fall...or a guy will cough on me...or ill get my foot stuck in the bus door and (most times just in my head) Ill yell something in Italian- I talk to myself mostly in Italian...like when I'm tired I'm like...ok vai. alzati, andiamo. its fun. It helps me remember and its good practice.
I'm sorry I don't have much to talk about this week. We're trying to have a really good week where we push ourselves...I don't know how much I have left to push, but please pray that Heavenly Father will make up the difference.
---
I cannot wait to hug you and kiss you and tell you in person that I love you. That thought motivates me to keep going. It is like you said Mom, I dont know how to stop, but I dont know how to keep going either. I'll get there. I'm on my way. Its all more beautiful from the top.
I love you all with my whole soul. You are a source of great strength and love.
I can't wait to be able to text you silly things and cook Italian food for all of you. I can't wait to tell you all of the stories and to read from the scriptures and pray with you. I love you all, Mommy, Tanney, Evie. I love you!
FEEL MY LOOOOOVE :) I am here but know that I am sending my love your way.
This is my last transfer. 5 and a half weeks. I can do this. I'm going to do this. I'm doing it already!
I love you
I love you
I love you
Sorella Carlock
Seventy-two: September 17, 2014 Bologna
Hello dear family!
How are you?
Eva, I will work on that ''how to'' when I get home! Ha ha- good luck in the game. You'll do great!
Mommy, good luck on the test too! I'm praying for you!
Tanney, good luck on today! Whatever it is for you...good luck!!
---
All of the emails I got today were perfect. Thank you so much. I was feeling really down on myself and I felt like such a schmuck, for lack of a better word, and the emails I got today really helped me feel better.
Well...to update you on the work. We have 1 investigator...with a baptismal date! YAY! She's lived such a crazy life and I don't even know how she's still going...but it solidifies my tesitmony of the Atonement...anyone can change. Anyone can become new. We're trying to meet with the members work to get referrals and just to get to know them. We don't have much to do, and the best way to do missionary work is through the members so we are going to start there.
Its been an interesting week. Sorella Stott and I have been sick for the past 2 weeks, so its been hard. Im so ready to just feel well and get going. I wrote in my journal last night about how I was a little frustrated about being sick, especially this close to ...you know...and how I wanted to give everything without holding back.
I was writing, '' as soon as we feel better, we're going to be working so hard we wish we were sick so that we could slow down for a minute'' I plan on finshing strong and going home near dead. I want to give my all and I want to do my best.
Ive been having a lot of dreams about coming home and feeling unsatisfied with my work...kind of sucks, but that's not going to be me. I can do this...because Im not doing it alone. I have my companion, my support from you all, and I have Heavenly Father. This is His work. ''Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies'', He is and has always has been helping me. Im pretty sure, Id be dead by now if He hadn't-
I got an email from Sorella Harward. When we were companions, we talked about a marathon runner. She said ''don't you think he got tired too at the end of the race? its because he was running this whole time. you're tired because you're doing your job''. She wrote that to me today and it reminded me that ''hey. yeah its ok that I'm tired and I want to sit down, or maybe even give up sometimes. at least it shows ive been running. at least I've been running''
This brings me back to something I wrote last week, I think..at least Im still walking. I'm still here, I'm still trying, and while the Master says there is still time I need to keep going.
I feel like a bomb about to explode...things always get hard right before a big miracle comes and its coming soon. I feel it. The Lord is preparing something for us and I have faith in His power. He has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of those around me.
I love the Lord. I love Him. He is so merciful and so present in my life. I am not alone. We are never alone.
This was a good email session. Thanks for all of your help. I feel better now.
I hope that by talking to me through email, I might offer something to you as well.
I know that God lives and love us. He is such an active Parent and wants us to let Him in so we can feel of His love. I feel His love everyday and I long to feel it more.
Mommy, I really hope you do well on your test. I know that you can do it. You're my mommy! You can do anything! I am praying for you. Go get 'em!
Evie, I know you're going to rock it. Just remember what your arm-wrap says. YOU WILL! Teamwork is key. Be a team player.
Tanney, I hope you do well in school today and learn a lot. You are such a strength. You is kind, you in smart, you is important. Remember how special you are. YA THA BEST!
I don't have much to write this week either. There is much to say, other than I love you. I'm committed, I'm still going. I can't wait to see you and hug you and kiss you again! Its going to be a really sacred experience and I can't wait. You are my strength and my joy. Be good. Be happy. Be strong,
Never give up ;)
Sorella Carlock
How are you?
Eva, I will work on that ''how to'' when I get home! Ha ha- good luck in the game. You'll do great!
Mommy, good luck on the test too! I'm praying for you!
Tanney, good luck on today! Whatever it is for you...good luck!!
---
All of the emails I got today were perfect. Thank you so much. I was feeling really down on myself and I felt like such a schmuck, for lack of a better word, and the emails I got today really helped me feel better.
Well...to update you on the work. We have 1 investigator...with a baptismal date! YAY! She's lived such a crazy life and I don't even know how she's still going...but it solidifies my tesitmony of the Atonement...anyone can change. Anyone can become new. We're trying to meet with the members work to get referrals and just to get to know them. We don't have much to do, and the best way to do missionary work is through the members so we are going to start there.
Its been an interesting week. Sorella Stott and I have been sick for the past 2 weeks, so its been hard. Im so ready to just feel well and get going. I wrote in my journal last night about how I was a little frustrated about being sick, especially this close to ...you know...and how I wanted to give everything without holding back.
I was writing, '' as soon as we feel better, we're going to be working so hard we wish we were sick so that we could slow down for a minute'' I plan on finshing strong and going home near dead. I want to give my all and I want to do my best.
Ive been having a lot of dreams about coming home and feeling unsatisfied with my work...kind of sucks, but that's not going to be me. I can do this...because Im not doing it alone. I have my companion, my support from you all, and I have Heavenly Father. This is His work. ''Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies'', He is and has always has been helping me. Im pretty sure, Id be dead by now if He hadn't-
I got an email from Sorella Harward. When we were companions, we talked about a marathon runner. She said ''don't you think he got tired too at the end of the race? its because he was running this whole time. you're tired because you're doing your job''. She wrote that to me today and it reminded me that ''hey. yeah its ok that I'm tired and I want to sit down, or maybe even give up sometimes. at least it shows ive been running. at least I've been running''
This brings me back to something I wrote last week, I think..at least Im still walking. I'm still here, I'm still trying, and while the Master says there is still time I need to keep going.
I feel like a bomb about to explode...things always get hard right before a big miracle comes and its coming soon. I feel it. The Lord is preparing something for us and I have faith in His power. He has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of those around me.
I love the Lord. I love Him. He is so merciful and so present in my life. I am not alone. We are never alone.
This was a good email session. Thanks for all of your help. I feel better now.
I hope that by talking to me through email, I might offer something to you as well.
I know that God lives and love us. He is such an active Parent and wants us to let Him in so we can feel of His love. I feel His love everyday and I long to feel it more.
Mommy, I really hope you do well on your test. I know that you can do it. You're my mommy! You can do anything! I am praying for you. Go get 'em!
Evie, I know you're going to rock it. Just remember what your arm-wrap says. YOU WILL! Teamwork is key. Be a team player.
Tanney, I hope you do well in school today and learn a lot. You are such a strength. You is kind, you in smart, you is important. Remember how special you are. YA THA BEST!
I don't have much to write this week either. There is much to say, other than I love you. I'm committed, I'm still going. I can't wait to see you and hug you and kiss you again! Its going to be a really sacred experience and I can't wait. You are my strength and my joy. Be good. Be happy. Be strong,
Never give up ;)
Sorella Carlock
Seventy-one: September 10, 2014 Bologna
HEEELLLLLOOO!
So whats up? How has this week been? How is school and work?
Eva I love the shirt hair combo. Very cool.
Thanks for updating me on everything. It really helps me to know whats going on. That way I dont feel so isolated here.
I found out at a member's house about the Russia /Ukraine war...I had absolutely no idea. Not even an inkling. How are all of these things happening? And how is is that we don't know? Its amazing...the Lord protects us with all of these rules. Its so sad...when I heard all of the things this member was saying I wanted to cry. How many people have been put in danger? Its just sad. THAT KIND OF STUFF, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW...Id prefer really if it never happened. But anyway, I enjoy hearing about YOUR lives and what you are doing...pictures are even better... ;)
Its amazing really. I pray every morning for energy and strength and health, and I make it through each day. I get to the end. I know that that is made possible through Heavenly Father's power and through my faith in that power. I see miracles every day. The fact that I am still here and still going is a miracle. I'm going to need a lot of help when I go home...but I'm going to make it there, and its going to feel awesome. As Sorella Harward once said (something of the sort), ''even if I have to crawl into Heaven on my hands and knees, even if I'm the last one there...Ill get there'' I feel the same way. I'll get there.
I had an epiphany actually. I called the anziani for another blessing so that I could have some more strength...The anziano that answered said, well how are you?, and I said I'm still walking Anziano, I'm ok as long as I'm still walking. It's true. Even in merit to the Gospel...as long as you're still on the path, bloody and bruised...maybe missing a leg or all of your teeth from smacking your head against the same wall over and over and over again, at least you're still walking on that path. There is always room to improve, but you cant improve if you arent on the path...going in the right direction of course.
Well...I have to say, I love my companion...I realized the other day...I think she kinda likes me too...I wasn't sure what she was thinking before, but at least I know she doesn't want to kill me...I hope ha ha. She is just so sweet and humble and I really like her. She's so patient with me, especially now when I'm having such a hard time. I want to be better for her, to help her make the best of this time. She's a really powerful missionary, its amazing.
I don't really have much to talk about. We don't have hardly any work right now. When we came in, it was pretty empty and now everyone that we found is kind of disappearing...SO back to square 1! We can handle it. Ive done this before! Talk about the mission preparing you for life...I feel like I have the same experiences over again here...its like I need to use them again or something. :)
Well...I'm going to talk about how long I have left for just a minute...then, I want us all to not talk about it anymore...at least as much as possible.
I counted the other day...I have 51 days left in the mission. 51. On Monday night, I realized that 1 month and 1/2 is fairly short and I just started crying and crying and praying to be able to make the most of it. It really hit me. I just filled with such a heart wrenching pain...it hurt! I never want to feel that again..but unfortunately, I will have to. I want to make the most of this short short time. I want to give my all. I am going to need you to not talk about me going home. Ill try my best too. Obviously, we can say 'cant wait to see you'' or we can talk about necessary plans...but I really don't want to think about it. If I can forget myself and forget my health and this reality and give it all...coming home will be sweet. Please support me in this. PLEASE, tell me everything... talk about your lives and missionary work and I will talk about mine. I have felt the missionary spirit and I need it to keep going while I am a full-time missionary. I know we're all excited, heck Im so excited to hug you all...but I just ask that we talk about it when I'm home.
I love you all and I know you understand this. I miss you more than ever right now. I could really use a solid hug and an oatmeal cookie with a side of WAFFLE CRISP!!! WHAT WHAT! But I can wait, we can wait. Then when we get together again and we say ''we did it!'' we can also say ''we left everything behind, wasn't that worth it''
ok, moment over :) I love the mission. I love how hard it is and how much I have to push myself. I love every single moment and every single heartache. I love those mistakes I made because I learned from them, and I became something better. I love my Saviour. Luckily, He loves me too! There is nothing more fulfilling than missionary work. We're teaching a lesson today about missionary work using Alma 29: 9... ''that might be an instrument in bringing [someone unto the Lord] and this is my joy''. THIS IS MY JOY!!! THis is who I am...I have found who I am here and I have found the path to who I can become.
I cant wait to see you all again...well I can...but there isnt a better way to say it...Im REEEEAAALLY looking forward to seeing you and hugging you :)
I love you all with my whole soul, with everything that I am. I pray for you and live for you each day. I know that you will be blessed through my service. That is my great hope! I love you. I love you. I love you :)
Sorella Carlock
So whats up? How has this week been? How is school and work?
Eva I love the shirt hair combo. Very cool.
Thanks for updating me on everything. It really helps me to know whats going on. That way I dont feel so isolated here.
I found out at a member's house about the Russia /Ukraine war...I had absolutely no idea. Not even an inkling. How are all of these things happening? And how is is that we don't know? Its amazing...the Lord protects us with all of these rules. Its so sad...when I heard all of the things this member was saying I wanted to cry. How many people have been put in danger? Its just sad. THAT KIND OF STUFF, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW...Id prefer really if it never happened. But anyway, I enjoy hearing about YOUR lives and what you are doing...pictures are even better... ;)
Its amazing really. I pray every morning for energy and strength and health, and I make it through each day. I get to the end. I know that that is made possible through Heavenly Father's power and through my faith in that power. I see miracles every day. The fact that I am still here and still going is a miracle. I'm going to need a lot of help when I go home...but I'm going to make it there, and its going to feel awesome. As Sorella Harward once said (something of the sort), ''even if I have to crawl into Heaven on my hands and knees, even if I'm the last one there...Ill get there'' I feel the same way. I'll get there.
I had an epiphany actually. I called the anziani for another blessing so that I could have some more strength...The anziano that answered said, well how are you?, and I said I'm still walking Anziano, I'm ok as long as I'm still walking. It's true. Even in merit to the Gospel...as long as you're still on the path, bloody and bruised...maybe missing a leg or all of your teeth from smacking your head against the same wall over and over and over again, at least you're still walking on that path. There is always room to improve, but you cant improve if you arent on the path...going in the right direction of course.
Well...I have to say, I love my companion...I realized the other day...I think she kinda likes me too...I wasn't sure what she was thinking before, but at least I know she doesn't want to kill me...I hope ha ha. She is just so sweet and humble and I really like her. She's so patient with me, especially now when I'm having such a hard time. I want to be better for her, to help her make the best of this time. She's a really powerful missionary, its amazing.
I don't really have much to talk about. We don't have hardly any work right now. When we came in, it was pretty empty and now everyone that we found is kind of disappearing...SO back to square 1! We can handle it. Ive done this before! Talk about the mission preparing you for life...I feel like I have the same experiences over again here...its like I need to use them again or something. :)
Well...I'm going to talk about how long I have left for just a minute...then, I want us all to not talk about it anymore...at least as much as possible.
I counted the other day...I have 51 days left in the mission. 51. On Monday night, I realized that 1 month and 1/2 is fairly short and I just started crying and crying and praying to be able to make the most of it. It really hit me. I just filled with such a heart wrenching pain...it hurt! I never want to feel that again..but unfortunately, I will have to. I want to make the most of this short short time. I want to give my all. I am going to need you to not talk about me going home. Ill try my best too. Obviously, we can say 'cant wait to see you'' or we can talk about necessary plans...but I really don't want to think about it. If I can forget myself and forget my health and this reality and give it all...coming home will be sweet. Please support me in this. PLEASE, tell me everything... talk about your lives and missionary work and I will talk about mine. I have felt the missionary spirit and I need it to keep going while I am a full-time missionary. I know we're all excited, heck Im so excited to hug you all...but I just ask that we talk about it when I'm home.
I love you all and I know you understand this. I miss you more than ever right now. I could really use a solid hug and an oatmeal cookie with a side of WAFFLE CRISP!!! WHAT WHAT! But I can wait, we can wait. Then when we get together again and we say ''we did it!'' we can also say ''we left everything behind, wasn't that worth it''
ok, moment over :) I love the mission. I love how hard it is and how much I have to push myself. I love every single moment and every single heartache. I love those mistakes I made because I learned from them, and I became something better. I love my Saviour. Luckily, He loves me too! There is nothing more fulfilling than missionary work. We're teaching a lesson today about missionary work using Alma 29: 9... ''that might be an instrument in bringing [someone unto the Lord] and this is my joy''. THIS IS MY JOY!!! THis is who I am...I have found who I am here and I have found the path to who I can become.
I cant wait to see you all again...well I can...but there isnt a better way to say it...Im REEEEAAALLY looking forward to seeing you and hugging you :)
I love you all with my whole soul, with everything that I am. I pray for you and live for you each day. I know that you will be blessed through my service. That is my great hope! I love you. I love you. I love you :)
Sorella Carlock
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