Here I am again!
How are you all this week?
Is it cold in New Jersey yet?
Yesterday it was really warm but today its freezing...probably only about 50 degrees ha ha.
Anyway...
Its been a good week. I honestly think my prayers have changed it. Ive been more sincere and more willing to just act.
The past 2 transfers, I have felt like Ive had to carry the weight of the entire world. I've felt so weighed down by everything and Ive felt a little confused about some things, but I don't feel that anymore. I feel more light. I feel more hope in everything.
I'm going to be honest. I'm absolutely terrified to come home and I dont feel like I have a lot going for me...but I know that I don't have to see ''the distant scene, one step enough for me''
I know that I am not alone on my path of life. Im scared by the world and I'm afraid of the influence that is has had on my life...but I'm different now. I'm not the same and I'm more aware of how I can overcome these trials and temptations. I know what I'm doing now because I'm not lukewarm. I've made my choice about who I will serve and I'm sticking with it.
One thing that I have been able to experience a lot while being out and in life in general, is the idea of standing alone; in being obedient or righteous or following God. I know what doing the right feels like even when everyone else isn't doing the same thing, and even if they are those who should be doing the same. I know that I've chosen the right team, diciamo, and this is the winning team.
This is my last week in the mission. I feel like its OK to talk about it now...I mean. Really though, this is the end. That sits like a weight on my chest and I know I'm going to have such a hard time coming home. Its going to be so different. I've never felt the Spirit like this before, this strongly and consistently. Ive never been so...just..at peace with who I am. I'm going to miss it every day. Its going to be really hard. On the other hand, I know its a part of life and that I have other important things to do.
We did get to see that investigator that we thought was dead...she's not dead! She also lives with e friend now and she became another investigator! Our goal for this month is 12- we're at 3...but I think we can get close. We're just trying to do what we can and as much of it as possible. Im not going to try to make a big hooplah like we have to do something big or grand...I just want to do missionary work and continue to feel that missionary spirit.
I love this work. I love it so much.
Im so glad you sent me a picture of Grandma! Happy Birthday Grandma!!
Im excited to hear about all of the things you write about each week in person. I am so grateful for all of your help and support and love and funny stories and moments of triumph.
We've done it together!
We did it!
Well....there is still time... I keep singing in my head 'I have much work to do' (the hymn) but in Italian... I don't know it in English.
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I am so down for the Kirtland, OH trip...Im going to be way tired, but I need to do it to have something to do and look forward to.
Also if you could plan a day when we can go to the temple in my first week home...that would be great seeing as I haven't been in a year and a half.
I got the email about November 1st with President Jensen. I'm not excited about it but I am glad that its not Friday and that I have some time to adjust while I'm still a missionary.
Id really like to go on splits with the sisters in our ward if EVA could set that up, that would be awesome.
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I'm glad you got to see Meet the Mormons. I really want to see it.
You always do all of these fun things! I'm so happy that you're doing some good things. I'm excited to do them with you.
I've done what I could here and I continue to do what I can every day while still trying to get better. I've not been perfect, obviously, but I've done what I could. Then the Lord helped me change so that I could do more. I haven't checked out yet. I'm still here, but I'm ready to go home knowing that I did my part and continue to do my part. I have been successful because I have been changed.
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Also BTW....they only left about a 20 MINUTE layover for me in Heathrow, so its pretty guaranteed that I'll miss that and I won't be home at the time that they said I would be. It took about 2 hours to even get through customs last time, so be aware.
Next week on Wednesday when you email me, it will be my last day in Bologna. if you could send me, all together maybe, something nice I guess, like a picture of you all on Skype together or something that would be much appreciated. Other than that, next week we can talk about the business-y stuff.
I'm here. I'm in the mission field. I stand as a representative of Jesus Christ. I'm all in. This is it! I love this work with everything that I am. It has changed me through and through.
Its going to feel so great to hug you and kiss your faces :)
Please know that I am doing my best, every day, one step at a time.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love my God, and I am in awe of His mercy in sending me to this Earth so that I could partake of these blessings. The plan is real. Its all real and true and just. I love this work!
Sorella Carlock
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